Ryan Perrilloux, we love you, and we want to fucking strangle you.

Ryan, you might want to thank the good Lord for making your dad's sperm and your mom's egg meiose that meiosis to make you a superstar athlete-by-genetics, because if you sucked at sports, you'd suck at everything.  It's not shameful to be stupid.  A lot of great athletes are stupid.  A lot of the greatest people in the world are stupid.  You just have to make sure you don't trip over your own stupid decisions.

Like getting into a brawl up in front of Northgate at 2 AM on a school night DURING FOOTBALL SEASON.  Okay, so you got out of it and you might have been at the wrong place at the wrong time.  But in front of a bar at 2 AM on a school night has a tendency not to be the right place or the right time.

Okay, so missing a few classes isn't a big deal, but team meetings definitely are.  You're going to be the starting quarterback.  You're the guy.  Be the guy.

Please, Ryan.  Please stay the fuck out of trouble.  It's not that hard and the payoff will be BIG!  Look at your old teammate JaMarcus Russell.  He got drafted first overall by the Oakland Raiders, and now he has millions of dollars.  JaMarcus Russell also never got into trouble.  See a connection?

I know you can do it, Ryan.