First post in a while

Sorry, it's been a while.

I'll catch up in a bit.

Sources tell me Jake Long is negotiating with the Dolphins and is going to be the number one pick in this draft.

This is a good choice.  How do you rebuild a team?  From the inside out.  The offensive line was the Miami Dolphins' weakest spot out of their many weak spots.  Jake is very big and very strong. The 315-pounder has a six-pack and 14 percent body fat. That's pretty damn impressive.

Some Dolphins fans that know little about football will be upset because they didn't take Matt Ryan.  It's easy to see why.

Bad quarterback play is easy to see.  Bad offensive line play is not as visible, but bad offensive line play can lead to bad quarterback play.  Josh McCown is a solid quarterback, even if he is not a long-term solution.  Matt Ryan is great, but he isn't number-one pick great.

Jake Long is an excellent needs choice, and there will be a lot of decent quarterbacks available in the later rounds.

The Saints are considering trading with the Rams for the second pick to nab Glenn Dorsey.  

I think it's a great idea, actually.

The Saints fanbase overlaps generously with the LSU fanbase.  Dorsey will be close to home.  He will be surrounded by support.  The Saints run a 4-3 defense, which Dorsey is better suited for.  The Saints are a good healing team if Dorsey's injuries persist.

The main reason is this:  Who are the Saints going to pick with pick number 10?  Nobody out there is worth it.  The other great tackle, USC's Sedrick Ellis, will probably be taken as well.  The Saints would have to risk it on some safety, but who's worth it?

With great power comes great responsibility

Said Peter Parker's father. He was right.

Spider-man was never happy. Once he defeated villains, he was expected to defeat more villains, and he never had time to do what he wanted.

When I considered quitting music, I felt like Parker in Spider-Man 2, ditching the costume and becoming normal again, with normal responsibilities I could suddenly fulfill.

And then in Spider-Man 3, Parker becomes the arrogant hero he feared he would become, losing the girl in the process. It's the kind of moment in a film where you just can't watch his embarrassment and her heartbreak.  It's something you can't stand.

Taking risks is only smart if you win, it seems.  If you fail, you regret not staying in your comfort zone, and the one thing I fear and loathe most of all is regret.

Fear of success

I have an awesome comfort zone. I slack through classes and I do what I want whenever. I don't have anything to prove, and I love it.

I have fear of success, and at the same time, fear of failure. I sacrifice success so I can live failure-free, because I'm remembered more for my failures than my successes.

When I look back, I don't see my successes. I only see where I fucked up and promised to myself never to fuck up again. My parents instilled in me a fear of failure.

Not that I really fear failure, but I fear their reaction, because they are my most valuable life line, and I don't want to lose it.

I like life right now, and I don't want to change it, because if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

But at the same time, it could be better.

"Hard work never hurt anyone, but why risk it?"  That phrase has been my life story.

I'm glad my parents don't know about this blog.  Like a lot of things, I need to hide it from them so I can resist their demands, and the guilt they give me when I don't do things for them.

New LSU basketball coach

Trent Johnson, former Stanford head coach, is heading down to the bayou to coach LSU's struggling basketball team.

In his four seasons at Stanford, he led his team to an 81-40 record, three NCAA tournament appearances, and a spot in the Sweet 16 just recently, all while coaching in the Pac-10 Conference, which is one of the hardest conferences for Basketball.

I don't blame him for heading down to the Bayou State. He'll have a program with great tradition, and if LSU becomes successful and the fanbase is rejuvenated, awesome Tiger fans.  He'll also be in Louisiana, an area that produces a lot of black people talent for recruiting. Welcome to Baton Rouge, Trent.

Now it's time to think of a T-Shirt slogan that celebrates our new coach.

"Bent on Trent"? Nah, but we'll think of something eventually.

Apologies

Please excuse my bitchfest yesterday.

I was having a bad day, and I blamed music.

I am staying with music, but I switched my major to Bachelor of Arts: Music with a minor in English.

Thank you.

I hate Retarded Baby Animals

I screwed myself over.

I didn't want people to know I was a composer, or a music composition student.

And now I'm having that stupid piece I didn't get two shits about premiered.

People will like it.  Because it has a stupid fucking title.

I'm supposed to be overjoyed. I feel like shit. The premiere is coming, and I don't want it to.

I'd call it off, but Melissa would hate me for it.

I don't even want to show up and listen to a bunch of applauding retards, but I have to. For Melissa.

I don't think I can sit there normally. I'll be embarrassed. I'll hide my face. I know I won't keep my composure. I'll start crying for no reason. I'll make a scene when all I want is to be invisible.

I don't want anyone to notice. I should have named it something boring like "Suite For Solo Clarinet" and no one would give two shits.

I'm anxious as hell for no reason. I hate music and I hate myself.

Depression versus Bliss

I don't wanna live

there's nothing worth living for

I don't wanna die

there's nothing worth dying for

I'm waiting for the answers

but there's no questions worth answering anymore

I think I could just cry

but there's nothing worth crying for

I might just float down the river

I don't know why I woke up.

I don't know why I was sleeping in the first place.

Sleep feels like a waste of time.

I waste enough time when I'm awake.

The Lady Tigers lost last night.

We had a one-point lead with seven seconds to go

and then we just let them lay-up one in.

Our fifth consecutive final four, our fifth consecutive loss in the semifinals.

Damn damn damn.

I feel depressed.  I don't find joy in writing music these days.

My parents want me to write music because I have talent.

I wish they didn't care about my music at all.

I don't like sharing my music with them or when they find it themselves.

Because when they do, they continually critique me, or glorify me and want to show off how awesome their son is.  Then there's pressure to please them and their friends.

I can't make music to please anybody but myself.

When I hide my music from them, they make me feel guilty about it.  But if I do show them, I regret it because then they put their own expectations on me.

Success to them depends on whether or not they like or not, it being clean and avoiding controversial topics, and whatever else they want.

I love them, but sometimes I wish I didn't.

Someone's writing the word "Bliss" in graffiti all over McVoy.

There's a big one spray painted on the sidewalk outside the whore door.

Bliss.

It means perfect happiness.

People really only have about 23 minutes of bliss in their lives.

Usually the moment LSU scores a touchdown or when reaching orgasm.

Maybe I should find Jesus.

I can't find happiness with myself.

I can't find happiness having loads of talent.

I can't make myself happy, it seems.

Why are so many comedians depressed?  Even the best ones, like George Carlin, were absolutely miserable with the world around them.

Comedy equals tragedy plus time.  If there were no tragedy, there would be no comedy.

There would be no laughter if there were no pain.

Resolutions would be pointless without conflict.

And now I wait for the big resolution to these conflicts.

I'm usually an optimist, but right now I'm a pessimist.

The Lady Tigers are the Sisyphus of Women's College Basketball.  They climb so far, and then they just slide down. 

That's how my life feels right now.

The NFL: Classifying The Nicknames

There are thirty-two different franchises in the National Football League.  There are two different conferences, each with sixteen, and both conferences have four divisions, with four teams on each division.

I will divide the mascots into three categories- Animals, Humanoids, and Unclassifiable

Animals

Right now, there are only Birds and Mammals

Birds:

Baltimore Ravens- AFC North

Philadelphia Eagles- NFC East

Atlanta Falcons- NFC South

Arizona Cardinals- NFC West

Seattle Seahawks- NFC West

Mammals:

Order Cetacia: 

Miami Dolphins- AFC East

Order Artiodactyla:

Buffalo Bills- AFC East (Let's just say Buffalo to make it easier on us)

St. Louis Rams- NFC West

Order Perissodactyla:

Indianapolis Colts- AFC South

Denver Broncos- AFC West

Order Carnivora:

Family Felidae:

Cincinatti Bengals- AFC North

Jacksonville Jaguars- AFC South

Detroit Lions- NFC North

Carolina Panthers- NFC South

Family Ursidae:

Chicago Bears- NFC North

Humanoids:

Natural States of Being (Characteristics you are born with):

Houston Texans- AFC South

Washington Redskins- NFC East

Occupations:

Archaic Occupations: (Jobs people don't really have anymore, although a few remain, it's not very official)

New England Patriots- AFC East

Kansas City Chiefs- AFC West

Oakland Raiders- AFC West

Minnesota Vikings- NFC North

Tampa Bay Buccaneers- NFC South

San Francisco 49ers- NFC West

Modern Occupations: (Jobs some people still do for a living)

Pittsburgh Steelers- AFC North

Dallas Cowboys- NFC East

Green Bay Packers- NFC North (You know, people who pack stuff)

Supernatural Beings:

Tennessee Titans- AFC South

New York Giants- NFC East

New Orleans Saints- NFC South

Unclassifiable:

Manufactured Objects:

New York Jets- AFC East

References to the Color of the Team's Jerseys:

Cleveland Browns- AFC North

Bolts of Energy:

San Diego Chargers- AFC West (I guess)

Stuff White People Like

Here is a really awesome blog about stuff white people like.

And now I'm going to examine the list and see how many apply to me.

They will be graded by how much:

1 = SPOT-ON: This is perfectly true.

2 = PRETTY MUCH: Well, I guess it's right for the most part.

3 = NOPE: Self explanatory

N = HAVEN'T DONE IT/ TRIED IT/ SEEN IT

Coffee- 2 (I do like iced coffee and frappuchinos.  I hate burning my tongue though.)

Religions their parents don't belong to- N

Film Festivals- N

Assists- 2 (Our basketball team needs to pass more.  Maybe they should act whiter)

Farmer's markets- 1

Organic food- 2 (I like food in general)

Diversity- 2

Barack Obama- 2

Making you feel bad about not going outside- 3

Wes Anderson movies- N

Asian Girls- 1

Non-Profit Organizations- 2

Tea- 2 (I like sweet tea)

Having Black friends- 1

Yoga- N

Gifted children- 1

Hating their parents- 2

Awareness- 2

Traveling- 3

Being an expert on YOUR culture- 1

Writers workshops- N

Having two last names- 3

Microbreweries- 2

Wine- 2

David Sedaris- N

Manhattan- 2

Marathons- 3 (Running 26 miles? Fuck that.)

Not having a TV- 2 (no distractions is nice, but when South Park or The Office is on, I wish I had a TV)

80's Night- 3

Wrigley field- N

Snowboarding- 3 (probably due to a bad experience a long time ago.)

Vegan/Vegetarianism- 3

Marijuana- N

Architecture- 1

The Daily Show/ Colbert Report- 1

Breakfast places- 2

Renovations- 1

Arrested Development- N

Netflix- N

Apple Products- 1

Indie Music- 1

Sushi- N

Plays- 2

Public Radio- N

Asian Fusion Food- 1 (once again, it's food.)

The Sunday New York Times- N

Arts degrees- 3

Whole foods and grocery co-ops- 1

Vintage- 1

Irony- 1

Living by the water- 1

Sarah Silverman- 2

Dogs- 1

Kitchen gadgets- 2 (But my sister, who is also white, is definitely a 1)

Apologies- 3

Lawyers- N

Juno- N

Japan- 1

Natural Medicine- 1

Toyota Prius- N

Bicycles- 2

Knowing what's best for poor people- N

Expensive sandwiches- 1

Recycling- 2

Co-ed sports- 1

Divorce- 3

Standing still at concerts- 1 (LOL)

Michel Gondry- 1

Mos Def- N

Difficult Breakups- N

Being the only white person around- 1

Study abroad- 3

Oscar Parties- 1

Threatening to move to Canada- 3

Bottles of water- 1

Musical Comedy-2

Multilingual children- 1

Modern Furniture- 1

The idea of soccer- 3

Hating corporations- 2

Bad memories of high school- 1

T-Shirts- 1

The Wire- N

Shorts- 1

Outdoor performance clothes- 2

Having Gay Friends- N

St. Patrick's Day- 2 (I'm not Irish)

Dinner parties- 1

San Francisco- N

Book Deals- N

Music Piracy- 1

And now for a tally:

1's (Spot-on descriptions of me)- 32

2's (things I passively enjoy)- 23

3's (things that don't apply to me)- 13

N's (things I haven't experienced to comment on)- 23

Hmm... that doesn't add up to 93.  Oh well.

Perrilloux returns to the team on Sunday

I guess it was a misunderstanding after all whatever happened at Kona Bar and Grill.

I decided I will defend Les Miles.  He is a coach that won a National Championship and has a 34-6 record.  So if Les says Ryan Perrilloux stays, he stays.

Aw, Ryan. You're like that little badass kid in the principal's office every other day, but nothing you do is bad enough to expel you.

Miles will be portrayed as weak in the media. They will bash him just like they did on his road to the national championship.

But Les Miles knows that football is not a popularity contest, and there's a difference between doing what's best for the team and doing what the media thinks you should.

If Les was a losing coach, I wouldn't be so nice.  But instead, he's a winning coach who has won a National Championship, and I'm no one.

Here come five months of Miles/Perrilloux bashing by opponents and media before the season begins and the Tigers dominate.

He's still going to miss the spring game along with all of spring practice, but he will get to participate in the Washington DC trip.

Why, Ryan? WHY???

Ryan Perrilloux, you could have been a contendah.

No, really. You could have been one of the greatest players in LSU history. You are that talented.

Instead, your name will forever be associated with "high school star recruit bust".

"I hope Terrelle Pryor doesn't become the next Perrilloux"

Did you ever read Little Critter books when you were little?  Remember when you learned about something called self-control?

I guess you never learned after all.

For everyone else, here's the thing. Details are a jumble at this point, but the rumor goes that Ryan Perrilloux was at Kona Restaurant late one night recently. He wanted food, but the restaurant was about to close and had stopped serving, at which point Ryan threw a tantrum, involving a few four-letter words and going as far as calling one server "Osama." Nice one.

If you look at pictures of Ryan, no matter how much stubble he wears, he looks like a little kid. Too bad he acts like one as well.

Is Ryan gone? It's up to Coach Miles. In Les I trust.

I'm worried about a particularly scary rumor that Ryan was given benefits to play at LSU, and that LSU cannot let him go or else he will rat on the school.

This seems doubtful to me. When we recruited Ryan, we already had two talented quarterbacks in our stable. JaMarcus Russell, the big guy from Mobile, Alabama, had finished his redshirt freshman year as had our backup guy Matt Flynn. We were set at quarterback for the next three years. We didn't have a huge need for him at the time.

Ryan picked to go to LSU probably for a few reasons.

1. He didn't like Nick Saban, and he chose LSU after we replaced him with Les Miles.

2. Local pressure.

3. He thought he had a chance to start ahead of JaMarcus Russell and Matt Flynn.

Ryan makes an infamous claim that he will win four Heisman trophies and start ahead of Russell and Flynn as a true freshman.

Instead, he got to watch JaMarcus shake off his jitters and become a powerhouse throwing machine. Russell was named first team All-SEC and was picked first in the NFL draft in 2007. That spring, he decided to try and sneak into a casino while Matt Flynn had an excellent spring performance and was named the starter for 2007.

Flynn played excellently for a while, but nagging injuries occasionally got the best of him. He was criticized for poor play, while Perrilloux was praised as the answer.

Ryan got to start in the SEC Championship game ahead Flynn, who had a bum shoulder. He was named MVP after an excellent performance. Flynn got to start again for the National Championship game, where he was masterful, the torch was to be passed.

But Ryan fucked up by not going to class and was suspended. A month later, days before he was to be reinstated, this happens. Goddammit.

It's a hard choice for Les Miles, and I put it in his hands to make the right decision on Perrilloux's future. If Ryan gets cut, LSU's options will include Harvard transfer Andrew Hatch and redshirt freshman Jarrett Lee, neither of which have the experience or talent Ryan has, but hopefully the ability to keep their cool.

Laundry Service

I need to do the laundry.  I don't want to do the laundry.

I went to Wal-Mart to buy some fabric softener sheets and get some cash back for the laundry machines, and now I'm back and... I don't feel like doing it.

My room is a wreck. My roommate, Ahmed, is a slob. I'm an even bigger slob. With no one to be the mother, our slobbish ways just pile up. There's laundry and trash on the floor. Everywhere. I need to clean up. I needed to clean up weeks ago. I'm too lazy.

As I'm typing this, I'm trying to use only one space between sentences. It's because the Daily Reveille only allows one space between sentences, and I'm so used to using two. It's a bad habit that needs to stop as soon as possible. Like my perpetual messiness, but this space thing is a lot easier to fix.

I just realized how much of a hypocrite I am. I consider messiness in others a big turnoff, and yet I'm the complete epitome of slobby blobby globbiness. I suck.

Migraine.

Despite it being April 2nd, my body decided to pull an April Fools' joke on me.

I woke up, and I had a little irritation behind my left eye.  Nothing big.

I have breakfast, and after I finish, the irritation got worse.  I go inside.  I take two Excedrin.  Nothing happens.  I wait for a bit.  Nothing happens.

I go to the Union Store to buy super-overpriced Sudafed.  I pop a pill.  Nothing happens.  It gets worse.  There's a little finger in my skull poking my eye from behind.

Oh fuck I have to take a test for German.

I call Mom.  Mom tells me that eye pain is nothing to fool around with and advises me to go to the doctor.  I write a sloppy note for Frau Angelika.  I beg her to excuse me.  She demands a doctor's slip with date, time and phone number.  I go to the Student Health Center.

I wait for my appointment.  Around 10:10 AM, the pain magically disappears.  Wonderful.

I go see the doctor anyways.  She tells me it was probably a migraine due to a mix of congestion, humidity, sinus pressure and stress and (thankfully, I guess) nothing serious.

I get a copy of my record, and I'm praying she will accept it.

Now I'm in Hodges, working on the Opera story.  At least I can get that done.