I am now a writer for And The Valley Shook!

http://www.andthevalleyshook.com

I post under the name Jrlz. Enjoy!

I Want Everything

I love spam

My Dearest,
I am privileged to contact you of an interest to invest a huge fund in your country. Any Knowledge of business interest in the following sectors: Banking, Real Estate, Stock Speculation, Film Industries, Mining, Transportation and Tobacco. If you think you have a solid background and idea of making good profit in any of the mentioned business sectors in your country, please write me for possible business co-operation E-mail contact
Respectfully,
Salif Ahmed

My Dearest?

I hate waiting

Maybe I'm too impatient, but there's nothing I hate more than waiting around for people. I've been recording my new album at my friend's place (he's got a nice studio set up), and he hasn't been answering his phone.

I've been thinking about my history as a musician, and how much time I've wasted waiting around for people who are busy all the time. I've found it hard enough finding people who are willing. It's even harder to find people who are available. And then they have to be competent, etc.

Starting bands shouldn't be this frustrating. I just want to have fun, after all.

I miss it when rappers chose obscure samples

Thugs suck

If you are reading this post and you happen to be a thug, kill yourself.

Link to Advocate video

There is a popular video circulating around Baton Rouge that documents thugs doing thug things like shooting AK-47s in the air, bullying people, dealing drugs, doing drugs. It's called "Thuggin' It and Lovin' It", and it saddens me at the dilapidation that still haunts dozens of neighborhoods around Baton Rouge and South Louisiana.

The new claim is that it's staged, and it has actors. That claim isn't helped by the fact that the video does not credit its actors and that almost all of the local residents interviewed claimed it was either real or really accurate. Either way, it's not cool.

The film, "Millionaire Entertainment" claims, is to promote some rappers and a record label. I would love to be represented by a label with so much class.

This video is an embarrassment to the city of Baton Rouge, and for the love of God I hope Mayor Kip Holden makes a stand against it.

Pixar's Ratatouille

I saw it last night.

Truly a brilliant film. It doesn't try to wow us. It tells a simple, charming story, and it tells it convicingly.

It may have been the most faithful portrait of the perfectionist chef with the furious muse, and it's a CGI rat.

One thing I like about Pixar is that it usually doesn't grab huge names to voice its actors like Dreamworks does. When you watch one of those films, you're not listening to the character. You're listening to Jack Black, or Angelina Jolie, or Eddie Murphy or Justin Timberlake.

Ratatouille doesn't have big-name voices because the character is more important, and it's the character they want to sell, not the actor.

It's a cute film. I was very impressed with the physical comedy (Linguine's clumsiness never gets old because they don't draw it out too much.) Pixar's attention to detail is outstanding. They did their homework, consulting with chefs everywhere to make all the details correct.

This is an excellent film. Go see it. Pixar hasn't made a bad film yet.

I can't stop watching this video

Greatest billboard ever.

I love Louisiana. I know it's cut off (the picture, not Louisiana.) Click on the picture for a full view.

I will review your music!

I know what I'm going to do with Music Is Way Cool. I'm going to review music people submit. I'm going to review all of it. I'll have a schedule for reviewing music, and I'll make sure all of it gets reviewed. I'll even give the submitter a courtesy call as to when the music will get reviewed. Cool, huh?

Bad Song Remorse

I think my new album 2009 is good, but "Revenge" sucks. You know it, I know it, my mom knows it, my dad knows it, everybody knows it.

It didn't belong on the album. I shouldn't have been lazy. I should have continued on making more music.

Now, my feeling is that I want to replace it. The question is, would people miss it? Should I let it sit there and let it continue to mock me? Should I leave it there as a reminder that I should avoid trying to make something scary?

I guess I have "Bad Song Remorse". I don't want to do what George Lucas did and fuck up "Star Wars", but my music isn't Star Wars. Maybe I should change it. But if I keep changing my stuff, what's real?

Wow.

The best song on the Space Jam soundtrack. Yup. Even better than "I Believe I Can Fly"

Things you can learn on Youtube.

1. The best possible soundtrack for any video is the phrase "three words for you: you can suck my dick" on loop.

2. "You can suck my dick" is actually three words.

3. The Steelers won three Super Bowls with concentration camp victims.

4. The New York Yanks are actually a football team comprised entirely of black douchebags who also like the Washington Nationals.

5. Biggie (RIP), despite being notoriously obese, is a better athletic trainer than Michael Jackson (RIP), who, when alive, could really bust a move.

6. THE STEELERS ARE NAZIS.

7. Benjamin Franklin was afraid of swine flu. He also liked money.

8. THE STEELERS WERE BEHIND 9/11. Those bastards!!!!

Don't forget to take notes. I'll quiz you on this tomorrow.

Gorilla Ball

LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU

LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU LSU 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I was the first to vote on an ESPN SportsNation poll!

Check it out. Only one vote. Mine. BOOYAH!!!

I think I'm taking sports just a bit too seriously.

LSU lost last night, and it was even worse than watching the other team hit five home runs. It was watching your team struggle on the mound to a true ace pitcher.

In frustration, I threw a remote across the basement. It doesn't work anymore. Now I'm starting to wonder if sports is worth all the anxiety.

How about a shutout from Austin Ross?

Dead body found at Bonnaroo during cleanup.

*dying man approaches crowd.*

Guy on acid: Dude you look fucked up. Dude... dude?

*man falls to ground and starts groaning*

Girl on acid: Like, he looks hurt. We need to call an ambulance.

Guy on acid: No way, they'll find out we're selling acid.

Girl on acid: Sorry, man. (immediately reverts focus to the Phish performance) whooooaaaah...

Dying man: FML

The Earthbound Community is complete! Part one- the remaining locations.

Here are some remaining pics.

This is for you, RIAA ----->

LINK

Do these people have a soul? Charging a woman $1.92 million for downloading 24 songs? A single mom?

Motherfuckers. That's just terrible.

Whatever happened to "we catch you, you pay for the music." This is justice gone haywire.

More Earthbound Pics!!!

A list of albums shorter than 2009

I call 2009 a mini-album, but as I take a stroll around, there are plenty of albums that are shorter.

2009 is 28:58 (28 minutes and 58 seconds) long.

Serge Gainsbourg- Histoire de Melody Nelson (27:57)
Beach Boys- Friends (25:30)
Beach Boys- Wild Honey (24:24)
Byrds- Notorious Byrd Brothers (28:28)
Minutemen- The Punch Line (15:00)
Meat Puppets- s/t (21:29)
Lots of Punk and Hardcore LPs

Incomplete list, but you get the idea.

It's late night, and this is a kickass song

Prince - Feel for you from http://thedude.vox.com/

Click this link. The embed link was screwy.

Goddamn, JaMarcus is fat

I'm concerned. I've always rooted for JaMarcus Russell. My mom and older sister didn't like him, and I defended him. People are calling him a bust after just two years, and I've been the one shouting, "Patience, idiots!"

Until I saw that photo above.

I'm disappointed in JaMarcus. He must be above three bills (300 lbs). That doesn't say "I am stepping up as a leader for the Raiders". It doesn't say "I care about the franchise that picked me first overall and is investing tens of millions of dollars on me". I can't say much because I'm a lazy fatass, but if I got tens of millions of dollars from somebody who wanted me to stay fit, I'd whip my ass into shape. JaMarcus only looks like a QB in the Jared Lorenzen sense. If it weren't for the "2" on his jersey, one would think he was an offensive lineman.

Please, JaMarcus, do it for the suffering Raiders fans. Do it for the LSU fans like me who defend you. Quit being JaMassive and man up to the responsiblities of being an NFL quarterback.

I want to see this in the future:

Oakland- Where JaMazing Happens

Everybody loves "Acorn Man"

2009 has been making the rounds among my friends and family, and just about everybody I've talked to tabs "Acorn Man" as one of their favorites, if not THE favorite, song on the album.

I didn't think too much of it when I wrote it. I wrote it while I was at LSU, and I recorded the guitar and programmed the strings down there. When I got back to Peachtree City, I added real drums, bass and vocals to it. The result was a nice little song dedicated to those crunchy green acorns that are fun to step on in the autumn months in Baton Rouge.

I added a lot of alliteration, and I made some fun rhymes. My favorite part was rhyming "Cheeto" with "incognito". That's a cool rhyme.

I also think I did a good job with the string arrangement. It's the first time I really tried. I used what I learned from my Theory courses.

The chord progression is a lot older. The chord progression is the same from "Lay Back Down", which is from the mini-EP-thing Shamelessly Delightful Acoustic Demos. Listen for yourself.

The cover for "2009"

The new JRH album is here at last!

http://www.last.fm/music/James+Read+Hunter/2009

Listen to it!

*note- I haven't ordered the songs yet.

Now that Jay-Z and some other rappers are shunning Auto-Tune, Auto-Tune just became a little cooler.

You see, I'm all about staying away from trends, and staying uncool.

Auto-tune is good in: Techno and synth-pop.

See:
"Days Go By" - Dirty Vegas
"Closer" - Ne-Yo

It sucks-

In rap music, especially when it turns a rap into an extremely simple two-note melody. God, I can't stand little two-note rap song melodies (usually it's a perfect fourth with the root note and the fifth below it.)

In country music. And I can hear it all the time.

Parents Just Don't Understand

DJ Jazzy Parents Just Don't Understand
Uploaded by shark_utf -

Aw sheeeee...darn

Well, something I have been fearing for awhile came true. My parents just discovered my blog. Well, they just informed me that they discovered my blog, which probably means they've been following it all along. That's just great.

Great. And now they want me to clean it up. And that means my fabulous bird-flipping photo? I'll try to censor it out, but I won't like it.

This is no fun. I mean, I loved speaking my mind here. And sometimes, you need profanity or the point just comes out... flat. Like there's no emotion. And I want my readers to understand where I'm coming from.

Everytime I read blogs without profanity, it bothers me because I can tell they're restraining themselves, and sometimes it just doesn't feel right. Like this one girl I know who is just so nice to everyone, and everytime a naughty word reaches her lips, she immediately thinks of something else. I'm always suspicious. I KNOW she has a dark side, and I want to see it.

I understand the need to keep a clean face for any potential employers who might give a damn if I say, well, damn. But still. Now I feel like I'm lying to you. You know me. I cuss. I talk about whatever. And I love that picture of me flipping the bird. And I want to do and express those things in my blog because it's who I am. And I don't think I'm a completely unpleasant person. I don't really mean anybody any harm. I'm usually just goofing around, but that's the tone I'm trying to create.

*sigh* Sorry readers. This blog won't be quite as fun anymore.

Listen to Grizzly Bear's "While You Wait For The Others". It's awesome.

The new Grizzly Bear album is amazing. Get it as soon as possible.

What are you waiting for? NOW I SAY!!

The world needs more Gentle Giant

Hilarity on Amazon.com

Who knew that a page for a wolf shirt on Amazon.com would become a forum for hilarious comments on the value of wolf shirts?

This link is awesome.

Here is the featured review (5 stars):

"This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark."

About fucking time I uploaded more Earthbound pics.

Please forgive me if I'm posting pictures I've already posted.

There is a time and place for masturbation...

so which team will be stupid enough to grab Michael Vick?

I don't see why anybody cares about him. This guy was a royal asshole in Atlanta. He flipped off fans. No seriously.

Who flips off a fan of their own team? I don't recall Donovan McNabb fans ever flipping off Eagles fans who boo him whether he plays well or not.

I think dogfighting is a disgusting crime, but I do believe Vick's punishment was fitting. That being said, Michael Vick isn't really that good. He's never been a great passer. The Atlanta offense was exciting not just because Vick would sometimes make a jaw-dropping play, but because there was an equal chance Vick would royally fuck up in an explosive way. Excitement coupled with nervousness.

So what if Matt Ryan is boring. Since when did the most exciting team win the Super Bowl? Not since the Kurt Warner-led Rams in 1999.

It's about team chemistry. Look at the Steelers. Chemistry. Michael Vick is a bane to team chemistry because it's all about him. What a dick. I'm laughing at whichever team, if any, takes this stupid loser.

It's been way too long since I last posted some Earthbound pics

Eleven Paces reunion on the horizon?

Ah, the good ol' days

Because I can.

***Aw SHIT! Fuck the margins on this thing.

Hey, if anybody knows how to adjust them, that would be super sweet. Thanks!

My new favorite lyric of all time

Ramones- "Cretin Family"

"Why don't you get a hula hoop and do the cretin hop?"

Updates, updates, updates

I've been waking up really late, triggered by a recent inability to fall asleep before 4 AM.

I saw Star Trek with my dad. Great movie.

Hopefully, my job will start soon so I can start making money.

I've been listening to "Ordinary People" by John Legend. For some reason, I love this piano ballad a lot. I need to download some new music.

I recently played and defeated Kingdom Hearts. Great game. The final battle must have been two hours long.

Prepare yourself for a world of nostalgia

Commercials on Nickelodeon in 1995.

My cousin Justin just committed to LSU!

LINK

Happy Mother's Day

Be good to your mother today.

Sports and Steroids, part 2

Would baseball be boring without roided-up sluggers like A-Rod?

Would it be less exciting if it were more of a pitcher's game?

Steroids don't make a huge difference, but a little extra power can turn a deep flyout into a home run, which can be big if the batter is prone to hitting flyouts.

I'd like to see a league-wide steroids test. The guilty players get a ban until steroids are out of their system.

Sports and steroids

I'm sad.

Manny Ramirez is one of my favorite baseball players, and he just got caught doing roids. Now everything's spoiled. Even "Manny being Manny" has taken on an unfortunate new connotation. Nobody will be able to like him anymore.

I'm just wondering what creeps under the surface.

Imagine the sports world's shock if Tiger Woods was caught doing steroids?

This guy just saved me a ticket to Wolverine

Big Peachtree City concert

I have been making music for a while now, and I've slowly built up a nice little following. I wrote out a massive setlist with songs chosen from my entire career (which you can hear at this nice link.

The setlist is as follows:

Three Minute Mile (the pop version)
All in Your Head
Yeah
Taylor Morris
Travel To The Moon
Searching
I Want Everything
Protest Songs Are Lame
Take Me Away
Here Comes the Love Bug
Hangman
Faces of Death
Nothin' Better to Do
Bloopiter!
Can't Get Away From You
In The Bubble
The Monster
Smile, Feral Child
My Own Little Sun
Tumor
Plastic Orgy
Mud & Tacos

Let me know if you're interested. I'll need a backing band for some songs.

Back in PTC

PTC peeps, give me a call!

Who doesn't secretly love Glee Club music?

I'm probably going to be busy for a while

I know there hasn't been too much action here, but I promised to my friends a post tonight. Here's a great Earthbound pic. Enjoy.

Whaddya know, I just pulled another All-Nighter.

But this time, it has been a huge success so far. I got 10 hours of work in instead of 3. I've really got a good grasp of the idea now, and the paper is starting to materialize in my head. It's due tomorrow and not today, so my plan is to get it done by tonight so, for the first time in a long time, I can get some sleep the night before a test. WOOHOO!

*sigh*

The all-nighter was a wash. I barely got anything done, I'm exhausted and I didn't even lose much weight. Boo. I guess I'll learn one of these days.

I'm NOT going to reenact the Julian encounter with Xtranormal?

Just a taste of things to come. Listen to the mustachioed Ginger. World of Hunter is taking over, son.

Random All-Nighter-induced Rant: Tyler Perry is a fucking hack

Tyler Perry is a fellow Atlanta native who has written, produced and directed a plethora of TV shows and movies. He's a self-made man who is very hard-working.

But he sucks.

I watched an episode of House of Payne recently, and I couldn't believe that I was watching the show that was breaking all sorts of records. The jokes are all incredibly stale, the characters are paper-thin and there's cliches everywhere. The Paynes even have a stereotype Hispanic for a neighbor. He's even made another show called Meet The Browns and it's EXACTLY THE SAME. Same fat middle-aged male lead, same fat jokes, more money for Perry to generate more crap. He's the TV equivalent of a Casio keyboard on autoplay. If it really is as popular as they say, I feel ashamed for America.

Can we please stop giving this asswipe our money and adoration?

Thank you.

All-Nighter! Yay!

I decided to have my all-night Paper-writing-fest about 4 days early. That way, I have the whole weekend to make everything good.

It's fun, and I lose a lot of weight because energy drinks make me sweat profusely. Just took a Monster (green tab) and damn they are DISGUSTING. I'm usually a Full Throttle man, and I think I'll stick to that from now on because if I close my eyes when drinking a Full Throttle, I can pretend I'm drinking an Orangina. Monsters have no soft-drink counterpart because they are just NASTY.

The main problem I have with all-nighters is the feeling I have after too long. I'm woozy and exhausted. My legs hurt and my mind is awake on a caffeine buzz, and that creates confusion. Sometimes I even start feeling a little paranoid, and whenever I get paranoid, my greatest irrational fear haunts me- that I have a case of the hiccups that never goes away. No, I'm serious. It's a stupid fear, I know, but damn that would really suck. And it's really happened. I'd make links, but you're going to have to search yourself because that shit scares the fuck out of me. You know why I'm so nifty with hiccup cures?

Anyways, the paper is on James Joyce. He's a tough guy to write on, but I'm glad I chose him (there was a list of topics to choose from) because there's shelves and shelves of books on Joyce ripe for quoting. Good thing I'll have all weekend! Now back to reading...

Earthbound gets dirty

Slut and Jrlz join Doosh's epic quest

In a room full of blue-obsessed Happy Happyists. One of my favorite scenes.

Slut joins Doosh!

The star is actually a giant ugly mole monster, but what a nice little star.

The New Age Retro Hippie. Beware his toothbrush attack. I love this game.

Sanctuary #2: Lilliput Steps

Paula calls for Jrlz.

Jrlz and the Bubble Monkey in Winters.

Jrlz and the Bubble Monkey hitching a ride on a friendly sea monster.

Jrlz joins Doosh and Slut!

Our next opponent- a giant pile of vomit that burps. Did I tell you I love this game?

So D-Rob picked up on the Youtube covers thing

Check out his beautiful rendition of "Each Coming Night" by Iron and Wine. As D-Rob would say, Luvsit!

Drew Brees is God

seriously, even if you don't care about the Saints, you gotta see this.

Doosh uses PSI D-Rob against a foe, reaches the first Sanctuary, and gets a psychic message from Slut

The first Sanctuary guardian- a big ass Ant thing.



The first Sanctuary- Giant Step



The first call from Slut



Another cry for help from Slut

George Jones sings "The Door"

Wow. I really suck at singing.

Doosh learns an important new power.

Vote for Barkevious Mingo!

You can only vote once. Tell your friends. We cannot let Michigan Grad Iris Macadangdang win!

VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!!!!!!

JRH Sings! "The Door" (George Jones) Comment Cover #1 (celebrating 1 comment)

Here's the finished, uninterrupted, better version. I'd recommend hearing the George Jones version, but I'm afraid that would show you how much I suck.



A great song nonetheless. I miss good country ballads.

JRH sings! "The Door" (George Jones cover)- Cover celebrating Comment #1

As you will see, this video was interrupted by my annoyed apartment-mate Julian, about right after I did the "door slam" sound effect (just like in the original song), so I will try to make a new version later. Anywho, enjoy this.



Julian-"Well I don't know what to say..." JRH-"you know what to say. Keep it up. You're awesome. That's what to say."

God I'm such a fucking dork.

This is my first "Comments cover". You see, every time the number of comments hits a perfect square (1, 4, 9, 16, 25...), I will perform a cover song and put it up on Youtube and on World of Hunter. I think there's 6 comments right now, so I'll have to make another one soon for comment #4.

Steve Baumann posted that first comment, so this song is dedicated to Steve.

Tim Olsen is in this picture I found on TigerDroppings

Lol

Now go buy the Teenage Investor.

Edit- o wait- half of it's been cut off because they made my blog skinny. See the whole thing by clicking on the pic.